The Problem With Trying to Do Study Abroad 'Right'

Photo courtesy of Google Images.

As my semester abroad begins to draw to a close (What? It's not over yet! It can't be over yet! I'm in denial.), I have been thinking a lot about my experience here and the expectations I had when I left the United States in August.

Over the summer, almost everyone I talked to had questions; Where was I going? What was I going to study? How much was I planning to travel? But aside from questions, I also received lots of advice. Some came from experienced travelers, people who had studied abroad themselves, or people who had been to the region. But there was also a lot of advice based on stereotypes, secondhand stories, and pure assumption. 

After a while I began to realize that I had received a lot of conflicting advice. Some people told me to avoid other Americans and English speakers as much as possible, while others told me that making friends with the girls from my university would make it easier to transition. I was told not to travel too much, because I wouldn't truly get to know my city or the people in it, and then told by someone else to travel as much as possible, because when would I get another opportunity? But despite all of these conflicting recommendations, there was one common thread connecting them all; people told me over and over again, "You've gotta do it right!"

Well, of course I wanted to do it right. I would hate to waste an experience like this. So I prepared, and I researched, and I planned. I read every blog there was to read, I made lists of places I wanted to visit, and I looked up every picture of Lille I could find. Some would have called me a bit obsessed, but I prefer to use the term thorough. 

But, here's the problem with advice, and preparation, and research. Once you actually get there, almost nothing is ever how you expected it to be. That's not to say that you shouldn't prepare at all - knowing things like how to get from the metro to your hotel beforehand is always a good idea, but at the end of the day, there's no way you can really know what to expect.

Throughout my semester here, and especially at the beginning, I found myself worrying about whether I was meeting my own expectations, and even the expectations of others. Was I traveling enough? Was I traveling too much? Was I speaking enough French? Was I spending too much time with the other Americans? I was so afraid of wasting my time that I sometimes couldn't enjoy the amazing things I was experiencing. Well, I guess I wouldn't say that. I loved my time here. But sometimes I did worry, as I tend to do.

I think that's because I didn't want to let myself, or anyone else who'd helped me get here, down by "wasting" this experience. To me, that would be a failure. And, as anyone who knows me would know, I'm not a person who copes well with failure. But one of the most important things being here has taught me is that it's okay to mess up sometimes. Things are not always going to turn out the way you wanted them to. You'll miss your train, you'll get yelled at by a professor, you'll lose your phone in a taxi (something I've done twice). Hell, if you're in a language program like me, you'll probably fail a few assignments. And that's okay. 

So my advice (and yes, I realize I just finished saying that I received too much advice) to anyone embarking on a study abroad adventure sometime soon is to leave expectations behind as much as you can. Prepare as much as you need to, but don't let the image of study abroad you've created in your head keep you from enjoying the real experience. Don't try to do it "right." Just enjoy every moment, as it comes.